Melissa (beethatbumbles) wrote,
Melissa
beethatbumbles

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XXV.

Tomorrow, I will be twenty-five.

In the scheme of things, twenty-five is not a big number, or a particularly important number when it comes to age. It's not a multiple of ten, it's not a milestone like eighteen or twenty-one. And yet it still seems significant for me. It's a quarter of a century. It means I am as close to thirty as I am to twenty. And there is also the matter of my life expectancy, which is probably fifty by a generous estimate, and which I try not to think about too much.

I thought I would have everything figured out by this time. I thought I'd be married, engaged, or at least in a long-term relationship. I thought I'd be in graduate school with a clear career path. I thought I would have managed to condense and consolidate my life. At the very least, I thought I'd be more skilled at living. But I'm not. Now, I don't think I'll ever have anything figured out. In fact, I am quite confident of this.

I have no boyfriend, no career path, and I'm still chugging away at this undergraduate degree of mine. I am mostly okay with these things. However, I do not feel like I have made much progress in life recently. This saddens me.

I am sometimes, if not often, happy with my life. I try not to focus on the things I perceive as failures or tragedies, and I try to look towards a better, brighter, happier tomorrow.

I just hope tomorrow is a good day.
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  • 4 comments
I hope the day after that is a good day. Also, the one after that; also the one after that.

Happy birthday. <3
Happy birthday! I added you, I'm not sure if you saw the message I left you.
25 is a great place to be (trust me I wish I were still there, but only knowing what I know I now). I hope it's a wonderful one for you :)
It's not a multiple of ten, it's not a milestone like eighteen or twenty-one.

Not quite true. Your insurance rates go down and you can rent a car.

I just hope tomorrow is a good day.

For what it's worth, I'll be in Berkeley with a cloud of people seeing "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World". It'll be my third time.

I thought I would have everything figured out by this time. I thought I'd be married, engaged, or at least in a long-term relationship. I thought I'd be in graduate school with a clear career path. I thought I would have managed to condense and consolidate my life.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do
with their lives;
some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.


A pretty penny for the shiny lady if she recognizes those bon mots.

If there's anything I can say from this side of that magical number, it's that no plan survives first contact with the real world. I'm one of the few people I know who came out of everything pretty much as he went in.

I'm also the only person I know who has always blown straw papers at people and puts bunny ears on people in photographs.

(That attained me some notoreity recently -- and I neglected to post about it!)

Another thing I can say from over here on my own strange rock in this strange bit of matter we call the universe -- you remain one of my favorite people.

Unlike most of humanity, I have never once entertained the possibility of you being a waste of the applications of the laws of physics. You are eminently worthy of your double helices, dearest beethatbumbles. The opposable thumb which natural selection found useful in your ancestors has come to good use on your beautiful hands and I have little doubt that it will continue to commit many a valued deed by your will.

I continue to count your continue existence and my extended acquaintance with you among the bits that have gone particularly right in my life. I hope to celebrate your return to this most celebrated of days for many a decade to come.
Something my knife throwing instructor told me (I'm 25 myself): "You still have milk around your mouth." We've got a lot to learn and figure out. It's a good thing. :)

With my breakup with Ray, I've also thought about the whole relationship aspect. But... what's more important is I focus on myself. Relationships can come later. There's plenty of time. I don't even want one right now anyway.

Well, I hope you're birthday goes well. :)